Some experiences and some things around or say in general terms - Closure is defined “To Forgive and Forget” something / someone and “Move On”.
Is it the Human nature or the trend, that “We usually are getting ready To get ready all the time, but never get ready as such” !!!!!!
The hindi version of this sounds more cool J Ham hamesha taiyar hote hai taiyar hone ke liye, par kabhi taiyar hote nahi J
Closure as I have seen, has different shades : Happy, sad, official, spiritual, relations etc.
Being a Science student – I have believed – you should never leave wounds or relations Open. A closure is required – Always*.
I am trying to say is - in the race to move on from one phase to another phase of life - a phase of growth and prosperity, a phase of building a secure future; a person forgets to celebrate what he has in his present.
Say you are playing football. And there are about 4-5 guys near the opponent teams goal keeper to block you. And having these odds around, you still make a goal.
For a normal person that you are – you will celebrate it right. Yeyyyyy goal ho gayaaaaa J or will you start thinking - oh Godddd !!!!! This goal happened somehow, what about the next goal ?
No right. We don’t do that. We celebrate that achievement, that happiness, and that excitement in that moment itself. Then why not celebrate the other parts of life also in a same manner.
Why do things go complicated as we grow. Where did all that innocence of our childhood and teenage go ??
Some might say - Well, that’s life. I say - bullshit.. oops sorry :-P J i will go with a decent word - Nonsense.
You cannot please others always all the times and think about things which are not in your reach and waste your present over something which you have no control on.
There is a life that you live for your own as well. Isn’t it !!
I was reading this one article in which one line was - “What will people say”, has killed more dreams than others things in life do”. I wondered oh yes, how true is that !!
If only people knew how to celebrate their present, they could have moved on easily in life for enjoying their futures. Point is you need to live your life instead of just being alive.
And here comes the closure that I was talking about.
As I said earlier - we are always trying to get ready for our future, planning for future, and dreaming about future but never ready for the so called future as such because of 2 things.
1) Either you are holding on to your past.
2) Either your past is holding on to you.
Both the cases, you cannot enjoy the present unless you leave your past behind.
Example B :
I have a friend. He got job in a big Multi National Company. But he had some commitments because of which he postponed his share of celebrations keeping it for a time where he would be earning more from what he was being offered now and when he had lesser tensions so he could enjoy his treat.
I asked him - are you sure you will be able to do that in the so called future where you are earning more than now ? because then you will have new tensions, new commitments, new ideas to invest your money on and etc etc.
So where do you think you are giving a closure for your current happiness. Instead you are just piling on things which later will make you think – had I celebrated it then I would have enjoyed it and now be more satisfied about it.
Because when you don’t celebrate it and pile things, then at a later stage you don’t have the patience to savor your past successes with the same mind and heart that you had while achieving it.
If you are not able to enjoy your small happiness now, how will you do that then?
Example C :
Another friend of mine fell in love. The teenage loves J
But the speed with which it started, it happened to end with the same speed as well. Sad. And it took a lot of time for her to get back to normal. Obvious.
She did not cry, but became silent and invisible day by day. She started keeping herself busy so she could forget her pain, so she could not get time to visit her past.
But what was happening here was she had locked that sad phase in some corner of her mind thinking she can deal with it by moving on. Basically to hide her pain and thoughts, and not to get sympathy from others for her tragedy, she was just trying to pretend about forgetting it . And after some time she realized this was not working out the way she thought it would.
She saw what she had done with herself. She was still holding on to the past in that corner of her mind. And so the past was pulling her back every time she spread her hands to hug her future.
Had she forgiven the guy and given a thought about it – thought that if this is not in my fate, then there is no point in cribbing over it. Yes ofcourse matters of heart take time to heal..
This closure would give her the strength and calm to embrace her future with an open mind. She would have felt far better and lighter.
You never know - You might get something BIG and Wonderful ahead J
Take the positives from your past and leave the sad behind.
Having a closure makes it easier and simpler J