Monday, July 14, 2014

Closure J
                                                                                                                      
Some experiences and some things around or say in general terms - Closure is defined “To Forgive and Forget” something / someone and “Move On”.

Is it the Human nature or the trend, that “We usually are getting ready To get ready all the time, but never get ready as such” !!!!!!
The hindi version of this sounds more cool  J  Ham hamesha taiyar hote hai taiyar hone ke liye, par kabhi taiyar hote nahi  J

Closure as I have seen, has different shades : Happy, sad, official, spiritual, relations etc.
Being a Science student – I have believed – you should never leave wounds or relations Open. A closure is required – Always*.

I am trying to say is - in the race to move on from one phase to another phase of life - a phase of growth and prosperity, a phase of building a secure future; a person forgets to celebrate what he has in his present.

Example A:
Say you are playing football. And there are about 4-5 guys near the opponent teams goal keeper to block you. And having these odds around, you still make a goal.
For a normal person that you are – you will celebrate it right. Yeyyyyy goal ho gayaaaaa J  or will you start thinking - oh Godddd !!!!!  This goal happened somehow, what about the next goal ?

No right. We don’t do that. We celebrate that achievement, that happiness, and that excitement in that moment itself. Then why not celebrate the other parts of life also in a same manner.
Why do things go complicated as we grow. Where did all that innocence of our childhood and teenage go ??

Some might say - Well, that’s life. I say - bullshit.. oops sorry :-P J  i will go with a decent word - Nonsense.

You cannot please others always all the times and think about things which are not in your reach and waste your present over something which you have no control on.
There is a life that you live for your own as well. Isn’t it !!

I was reading this one article in which one line was - “What will people say”, has killed more dreams than others things in life do”. I wondered oh yes, how true is that !!

If only people knew how to celebrate their present, they could have moved on easily in life for enjoying their futures. Point is you need to live your life instead of just being alive.

And here comes the closure that I was talking about.

As I said earlier - we are always trying to get ready for our future, planning for future, and dreaming about future but never ready for the so called future as such because of 2 things.
1)      Either you are holding on to your past.
2)      Either your past is holding on to you.
Both the cases, you cannot enjoy the present unless you leave your past behind.

Example B :
I have a friend. He got job in a big Multi National Company. But he had some commitments because of which he postponed his share of celebrations keeping it for a time where he would be earning more from what he was being offered now and when he had lesser tensions so he could enjoy his treat.

I asked him - are you sure you will be able to do that in the so called future where you are earning more than now ?  because then you will have new tensions, new commitments, new ideas to invest your money on and etc etc.
So where do you think you are giving a closure for your current happiness. Instead you are just piling on things which later will make you think – had I celebrated it then I would have enjoyed it and now be more satisfied about it.

Because when you don’t celebrate it and pile things, then at a later stage you don’t have the patience to savor your past successes with the same mind and heart that you had while achieving it.

If you are not able to enjoy your small happiness now, how will you do that then?

Example C :
Another friend of mine fell in love. The teenage loves J 
But the speed with which it started, it happened to end with the same speed as well. Sad. And it took a lot of time for her to get back to normal. Obvious.
She did not cry, but became silent and invisible day by day. She started keeping herself busy so she could forget her pain, so she could not get time to visit her past.

But what was happening here was she had locked that sad phase in some corner of her mind thinking she can deal with it by moving on. Basically to hide her pain and thoughts, and not to get sympathy from others for her tragedy, she was just trying to pretend about forgetting it . And after some time she realized this was not working out the way she thought it would.
She saw what she had done with herself. She was still holding on to the past in that corner of her mind. And so the past was pulling her back every time she spread her hands to hug her future.

Had she forgiven the guy and given a thought about it – thought that if this is not in my fate, then there is no point in cribbing over it. Yes ofcourse matters of heart take time to heal..
This closure would give her the strength and calm to embrace her future with an open mind. She would have felt far better and lighter.

You never know - You might get something BIG and Wonderful ahead J

Take the positives from your past and leave the sad behind.
Having a closure makes it easier and simpler J

Monday, March 25, 2013

Give me some Sunshine :)

Yes of course. what is wrong in being happy ??
It is your right to be happy ya !! ..Come on, Who says Don't be happy ??

Suhasi was asking her all these questions. Shravya had called Suhasi to her house thinking she would understand the problem or the confusions in Shravya's mind/heart. But she had analyzed the things in a general way.
She did not understand what Shravya had actually meant. Shravya was almost talking to herself when she said - I had had a break up sometime back which my parents were unaware of. I guess yes nobody else knew of it as well !!

So dat was not an option for Shravya's friends or cosins to think about when it came to her topic.
She was a sweet fun girl to be with who evrybody loved.
They were like - gal why are you dull.? Anyways you dont have a boy friend come on. That's No headaches, Nobody to question about your wherabouts, Nobody to pester you, and Life's so cool for you etc etc.

1 Q'n came to Shravya's mind always - oh lord. why dont people understand what i want from life.
A person to sit by my side, hold my hands and be there for me when i feel down. To assure me he will be there with me come what may. To tell me he loves me more and more everyday as i do. To pamper me like a kid like i pamper him wit my luv.
To take care of me like a friend, guide, parents, lover, husband and fill in the blanks of my life.

Some day this also will happen - Shravya knew. But when !!!!!
Its quite filmy to expect a dream like sequence and the prince charming comes to your riding a white horse and holds your hands pulls you up and takes you o a dream land and you guys live happily ever after.
But then people can always try for it right ?
Not only for luv. This could hold good for any other situation of life. Be it work, marriage, your secret dreams which are waiting to get fulfilled.

Dreaming and aiming high gives you confidence of yourself to fulfill your dreams.
Shravya wanted to fly high, be free, try adventures, be loved, be liked, be humble and help others. And in return she asked was for a life filled with these happy moments.
Say @ the end of her life journey if she had to turn back and look @ her life then she did not want to feel she couldn't do this one thing.
A bit of her share of Sunshine which would lighten her life. Is that more to ask !!

Why cant people be given a chance to be happy as they want. Some find bliss in work, some in luv, some in medidation, some in nature, some in reading, some in writing, some in music......and the list goes on.

Having a positive hope and faith in your beliefs keeps the boat of life going forward.
Never loose hope and faith in self  is what Shravya knew, and she felt her days were coming soon.
Its just a matter of time when her happy times would knock her door :)

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

ಅಮ್ಮಾ ನಿನ್ನ ಯೆದೆಯಾಳದಲ್ಲಿ . . . . !!


ಆಫಿಸಿನಿಂದ ಮನೆಗೆ ವಾಪಸ ಹೋಗಬೇಕಾದ್ರೆ fm ಕೇಳುತ್ತ ಹೊರಟಿದ್ದೆ.. ಮ್.ಡಿ.ಪಲ್ಲವಿ ಹಾಡುತ್ತಿದರು -

"ಅಮ್ಮ ನಿನ್ನ ಯೆದೆಯಾಳದಲ್ಲಿ ಗಾಳಕ್ಕೆ ಸಿಕ್ಕ ಮೀನು, ಮಿಡುಕಾಡುತಿರುವೆ ನಾನು,
ಕಡಿಯಲೋಲ್ಲೇ ನೀ ಕರುಳ ಬಳ್ಳಿ, ಒಳವೂಡುತಿರುವಾ ತಾಯೆ, ಬಿಡದ ಭುವಿಯ ಮಾಯೆ,
ನಿನ್ನಾ ರಕ್ಷೆ ಗೂಡಲ್ಲಿ ಬೆಚ್ಚಗೆ ಅಡಗಲಿ ಎಷ್ಟು ದಿನಾ ? ದೂಡು ಹೊರಗೆ ನನ್ನಾ ..

ಹೌದೆನಿಸಿತು.. ಇವಳ ಪ್ರಸ್ತುತ ಪರಿಸ್ಥಿತಿಯು ಹೀಗೆಯೇ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ..

ಇವಳ ಹೆಸರು ಶ್ರಾವ್ಯಾ .. ಪ್ರತಿಷ್ಟಿತ ಕಂಪನಿ ಒಂದರಲ್ಲಿ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ಹುದ್ದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕೆಲಸ, ವಾರಕ್ಕೆ ಎರಡು ದಿನ ರಜೆ, ನೋಡಲು ಐಶ್ವರ್ಯ ರೈ ಅಲ್ಲದೆ ಇದ್ದರು ಹುಡುಗರು ಇಷ್ಟಾ ಪಡುವಂತಹ ಮುಖ ಕಳೆ, ಬಾಯಿ ತುಂಬಾ ಮಾತು-ಹರಟೆ, ಹೆಸರಿಗೆ ತಕ್ಕಂತೆ ಸುಶ್ರಾವ್ಯವಾದ ಕಂಠ  :)

ಇಷ್ಟೇ ಆಗಿದ್ದರೆ ತಲೆನೋವೇ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ ಆಲ್ವಾ .. ಇಷ್ತೆಲ್ಲರ ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಆ ಭಗವಂತ ಇವಳಿಗೆ ಮದುವೆಯ ವಯಸ್ಸನ್ನು ಕೂಡಾ ಕೊಟ್ಟಿದ್ದ :( .. ಅರೆ ಇದರಲ್ಲಿ ತೊಂದರೆ ಏನು ಅಂತ ಕೇಳ್ತಿರಾ !!ಬದುಕಿನುದ್ದಕ್ಕೂ ನಾವು ಯಾವ ಯಾವುದೋ ವಿಷಯಕ್ಕೆ ಅರ್ಥ ಹುಡುಕುತ್ತೇವೆ .. ಹೌದಾ .. ಆದರೆ ಇವಳು ಈ  ಅರ್ಥ ಅನರ್ಥಗಳನ್ನು ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಹುಡುಕುತ್ತಿರುವುದು "ಇವಳ ಮದುವೆ ಆಗುವ ಆ ಪುಣ್ಯಾತ್ಮನನ್ನ" :p

ಅವಳು ಅಂದುಕೊಂಡಳು ಅಯ್ಯಯ್ಯೋ ದ್ಯಾವ್ರೆ ಇದೆಂಥ  ಕಷ್ಟಾ ಕೊಟ್ಯಪ್ಪಾ - ನಾನೇನು ಪಾಪಾ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದೆ .? ಮಾತ್ತೊಬ್ಬರಿಗೆ ಕೇಡು ಬಯಸುವ ಜಾಯಮಾನ ಅಂತು ಅಲ್ಲವೇ ಅಲ್ಲ  - ಮತ್ತದೇಕೆ ಈ ಶಿಕ್ಷೆ  ? ಈ ಲೈನ್ ನೋಡಿ ನೀವು ಇವಳನ್ನಾ ಡ್ರಾಮಾ ರಾಣಿ  ಅಂದುಕೊದಿರ್ತಿರಾ :p

ಸಾಮಾನ್ಯವಾಗಿ ನಮ್ಮ ಕಡೆ ಹೆಣ್ಣುಮಕ್ಕಳ ಮದುವೆಯನ್ನ ಚಿಕ್ಕ ವಯಸ್ಸಿನಲ್ಲೇ ಮಾಡಿಬಿಡುತ್ತಾರೆ ..
ಅದೇ ಶಹರುಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಆಧುನಿಕತೆ ಮತ್ತು ಶಿಕ್ಷಣದ ಹೆಸರಿನಲ್ಲಿ ತಡವಾಗಿ ಮದುವೆ ಮಾಡುವ ಟ್ರೆಂಡು ಶುರುವಾಯಿತು .. ಅದೇ ಆದರ್ಶವನ್ನು ಇಟ್ಟುಕೊಂಡು ಇವಳ ಅಪ್ಪಾ ದಿ ಗ್ರೇಟ್ ಕೂಡ ಹೇಳಿದರು - ಮಗಳು ಓದಲಿ, ಡಿಗ್ರಿ ಮುಗಿದ ಮೇಲೆಯೇ ಜಾತಕ ಹೊರಗೆ ಹಾಕೋಣವೆಂದು ..

ಮಾಸ್ಟರ್ಸ್ ಡಿಗ್ರಿ ಮಾಡಬೇಕಾದರೆ ಕೆಲವು ಜಾತಕಗಳು ಬಂದವು ನಮ್ಮ ಮಗ ಹೊರದೇಶದಲ್ಲಿ ಇದಾನೆ ಮದುವೆ ಮಾಡಿ ಕೊಡುತ್ತೀರಾ ಅಂತ ಕೇಳಿದರು. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಅಪ್ಪಾ ಹೇಳಿದರು - ಇಲ್ಲ ಸ್ವಾಮಿ ನಮಗೆ ಈವಾಗಲೇ ಮಗಳ ಮದುವೆ ಮಾಡೋ ಯೋಚನೆ ಇಲ್ಲ. ಅವಳು ಇನ್ನು ಓದುತ್ತಿದ್ದಾಳೆ .. ಇನ್ನೆರಡು ವರುಷ ಆದಮೇಲೆ ನೋಡುತ್ತೇವೆ ಎಂದು ಫೋನ್ ಇಟ್ಟಿದ್ದರು ..ಅಪ್ಪನಿಗೆ ಮಗಳ ಓದು ಮುಖ್ಯವಾಗಿತ್ತು ..

ಮಗಳು ನಾಲ್ಕು ಅಕ್ಷರಾ ಓದಲಿ, ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ಕೆಲಸದಲ್ಲಿ ಸೇರಲಿ, ಒಳ್ಳೆ ಸಾಧನೆಯನ್ನ ಮಾಡಲಿ etc etc .. ಅಪ್ಪನ ಪ್ರಕಾರ ಕೆ.ಎಸ.ನರಸಿಂಹ ಸ್ವಾಮಿ ಬರೆದ ಗೀತೆ - ಶಾನುಭೋಗರ ಮಗಳು - ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದು ಸರಿಯಾಗೇ ಇದೆ - ಮಗಳು ಸಭ್ಯ ಹುಡುಗಿ, ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ಮನೆ ಸೇರಲಿ - ತಡವಾದರೆನಂತೆ ನಷ್ಟವಿಲ್ಲ :)

ಅಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಮಾತು ಮುಗಿಯಿತಾ ?? ಅವರಿಗೆ ಅರಿವಿಲ್ಲದೆಯೇ ಶುರುವಾಗಿತ್ತು ಇನ್ನೊಂದು ಸಮಸ್ಯೆ .. ಇವರ ಕನಸಿನ ಸಾರ್ಥಕತೆಯನ್ನು ನೋಡುವ  ಸಮಾಧಾನ ಮಗಳ ವಯಸ್ಸಿಗೆ ಇರಲ್ಲಿಲವೇ !!
ಮಗಳಿಗೆ  ಅವಾಗಾ ೨೩ ವಯಸ್ಸು. ಆಟವಾಡಿಕೊಂಡು ಓಡಾಡಿಕೊಂಡು ಇದಾವುದರ ಟೆನ್ಶನ್ ಇಲ್ಲದೆ ಇದ್ದಳು ..
ಆಮೇಲೆ ಜಾತಕ ಹೊರಹಾಕಿದಾಗ ಶುರುವಾಯಿತು ನೋಡಿ ವಧು ಪರೀಕ್ಷೆಗಳು ವರಾನ್ವೇಷಣೆಗಳು ಇತ್ಯಾದಿ ಇತ್ಯಾದಿ .. ಅಭಾ ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಅಲ್ಲ ಹೇಳುವುದು ಮನೆ ಕಟ್ಟಿ ನೋಡಿ ಮಾಡುವೆ ಮಾಡಿ ನೋಡಿ ಎಂದು..

ಈಗ  ಶ್ರಾವ್ಯಳಿಗೆ  ೨೬ .. ಬಂದ ಗಂಡುಗಳು ಮತ್ತು ಅವರ ಹೆತ್ತವರು ನೂರಾ ಎಂಟು ಶರತ್ತುಗಳನ್ನಿಟ್ಟರು .. ಅರೆ ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಬೇಕಾ ತರಕಾರಿಯಾ  ??
ಅಪ್ಪ ಅಮ್ಮನಿಗೆ ಯೋಚನೆ ಶುರುವಾಯಿತು - ಜಾತಕಗಳು ಹೊಂದುತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ, ಸಗೊತ್ರ ಮದುವೆ ಮಾದಲಾಗುವುದಿಲ್ಲ, ಗಂಡಿನ ಕಡೆಯವರಿಗೆ ಬಿ.ಈ ಮತ್ತು ಎಂ.ಬಿ.ಏ ಹುಡುಗಿ ನೆ ಬೇಕಂತೆ .. ಮಗಳು ಮಾಡಿರುವ ಡಬಲ್ ಡಿಗ್ರಿ ಲೆಕ್ಕಕ್ಕೆ ಇಲ್ಲದಂತೆ ವರ್ತಿಸುತ್ತಾರಲ್ಲ.. ಹೀಗೆ ಆದರೆ ಏನು ಕಥೆ.??

ಉತ್ತರ ಪರಿಹಾರ ?? ತೀರ್ಥ ಸ್ಥಳಗಳ  ಪ್ರದಕ್ಷಿಣೆಗಳು  :)
ಮನೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಮಂತ್ರಾಕ್ಷತೆ, ಪ್ರಸಾದ ಪೊಟ್ಟಣಗಳು, ಬೇರೆ ಬೇರೆ ದೇವಸ್ಥಾನಗಳ ಬ್ರೋಶರುಗಳು, ಪೂಜೆ ಪುನಸ್ಕಾರಗಳು, ವ್ರತಗಳು ಅಯ್ಯೋ ಒಂದಾ ಎರಡಾ ..

ಅವರಿಗೆ ಏಕೆ ಅರ್ಥಾ ಆಗುವುದಿಲ್ಲ .. ಮದುವೆ ಅನ್ನುವುದು ಹಣೆಬರಹದ ವಿಷಯ. ಅದು ಭಗವಂತ ಯಾವಾಗಲೋ ಬರೆದು ಆಗಿದೆ. ಕೆಲವರಿಗೆ  ಕಂಕಣಬಲ ಬೇಗ ಕೂಡುತ್ತದೆ ಇನ್ನು ಕೆಲವರಿಗೆ ಜೀವನವನ್ನ ಸಿಂಗಲ್ ಆಗಿ ನೋಡುವ ಸಮಯ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಇರುತ್ತದೆ :)

ಕರುಳ ಬಳ್ಳಿ ಬಿಡಲೊಲ್ಲದು - ಆದರೆ ಏನು ಮಾಡುವುದು - ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಮಗಳ ಹಣೆಬರಹವೇ ಇಷ್ಟು ಅಲ್ಲವಾ .. ಒಂದು ವಯಸ್ಸಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಅಷ್ಟು ವರುಷ ಬೆಳೆದು ಬಂದ ಮನೆ, ಅಪ್ಪಾ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಪ್ರೀತಿ, ತಂಗಿಯಾ ಜೊತೆಗಿನ ಸ್ನೇಹ ಆಟ ಪಾಟಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಹೊರಡಲೇ ಬೇಕು ..

ಅಮ್ಮನಿಗೆ ಮಗಳು ಜೊತೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಇರುವಷ್ಟು ದಿನ ಇರಲಿ ಎಂಬ ಆಸೆ ಏನೋ ಇದೆ ಆದರೆ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ಮನೆ ಸೇರಲಿ ಆತುರದಲ್ಲಿ ಕಾಲು ಜಾರುವುದು ಬೇಡವೆನ್ನೋ ಆಲೋಚನೆ ಕೂಡ ಇದೆ. ಹಾಗಂತಾ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ದಿನವಾದರೆ ವಯಸ್ಸು ಸಮಸ್ಯೆಯಾಗುತ್ತದೆ ಆಮೇಲೆ. ಇದೆ ನೋಡಿ ದಿನ ನಿತ್ಯದ ಸೀನು ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಈಗ :)


ಕರುಳ ಕುಡಿ ಸುಖವಾಗಿದ್ದಾಳೆ, ಅಪ್ಪಾ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯನ್ನು ಮರೆಸುವಂತಹ ಗಂಡಾ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ್ದಾನೆ ಅಂದರೆ ಅದಕ್ಕಿಂತ ಕುಷಿ ಏನು ಹೆತ್ತವರಿಗೆ !! .. ಆಲ್ವಾ :)

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಶ್ರಾವ್ಯಳಿಗೆ ಒಂದು ಸ್ಮಾರ್ಟ್, ಟಾಲ್, ವೆಲ್ ಸೆಟ್ ಲ್ಡ್, ಮತ್ತು ಹೆಂಡತಿಯ ಬೇಕು ಬೇಡಗಳನ್ನ ಅರ್ಥಾ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವಂತಹ ಯೋಗ್ಯ ವರ ಬೇಕಿದ್ದಾನೆ :))
ನಿಮ್ಮ ಆಶೀರ್ವಾದಾ ಸದಾ ಇರಲಿ ..

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Life as we get to see it - chapter 6 - Infidelity ..

He had asked her something serious .. but she could not understand the head or tail or what he was actually trying to tell her ..
Why do people have to decide on something which gives them pain.?? was his question .. and Shravya din't know what was she supposed to answer.

She asked him - what happend Nihaal ?? .. Are you drunk ??
And he knew that he had to tell her what he was thinking then. He could not avoid telling the truth to her. He dearly loved her and she had been a true friend and a companion to him all these days after all. So he knew he owed her an explanation.

He was guilty. He was being unfaithful to her.

Shravya was unaware of the happenings in Nihaal's life. But she had had doubts about things getting dragged between them off late. He was a Mechanical Engineer and she only knew that much about his job. He used to travel for his team meetings and client meets a lot. And during one of his meetings he had met another girl in the client office. He had liked the way she used to talk to him and attend his queries. And he had started spending time with her as well..

But he had not told this to Shravya. Though Shravya was a simple, sweet, and a homely type of girl but she was also bold enough to give it back right on face if she knew something was wrong.
Nihaal knew she wouldnt scold or tell him anything but somehow he couldnt manage to get enough strength to tell about this girl in office to her.

But then, Shravya had sensed that something in that relation had started to drift. She knew that this had no future anymore. Because if he had really liked Shravya then there would be no space for the other girl to enter between. Right.. This was her argument.

For which Nihaal had tried giving an explanation saying Shravya "i love you but" my mom is quite strict about me getting in for an arranged marriage. What do i do. I cant leave you i cant leave her also.
And Shravya had sensed this was coming so she had kind of prepared her mind for this.

She said - Look Nihaal, I like you too and i gave you enough space as a friend and a companion all these days. Never forced you for anything. But even after all that if you feel you cant convince your parents for this then go with your life. If you cant keep the respects for love and our relation then what is the use of dragging a dead relation.

I thought i was a good friend of urs with whom you can share anything and everything. But what hurt me was you had the guts to cheat on me and you did not bother to inform me about it. Infidelity is something which cant be tolerated.

But i forgive you because i have always respected you as a friend and a good person and i share some good memories with you.
Go Nihaal live your life. I free you. But try not to cheat the other girl who will trust and come with you.
All the best. Take care.

And she had turned away from his life. That night she had cried like a small child. Cried till there was no tear left to shed anymore. Her heart and trust both were shattered to pieces that day. She had just closed the doors to her heart forever.

But as the saying goes - getting close to a person can give you 2 things :
a) a trustworthy person for your life :)
b) a lesson you will never forget in your life.

So she had learnt hers now:
1. Never give a person so much priority that in the end you become only an option for that person.

2. Next time before getting too close to anybody - make sure the person is worth spending your time with.

3. You are special. Value that and stand tall for your rights and thoughts.

4. People around you are always there to either make you or break you. You have to be alert enough to differentiate between them and select your groups.. :)

5. Give the other person enough space to breathe but make sure the space is utilized correctly.

She now knew - Life is not a bed of flowers. Just when you are praising and enjoying the beauty of the rose - life will make sure that you are made to realise the presence of thorns which comes along with the rose as well :)